Thank you everyone for the warm wishes and welcomes!

I don't have any family, and my husband is so incredibly frustrated by what is going on (and he's italian and has a temper so he just yells alot heh) so I really have no one to talk to....so finding this place is just great.

No one else understands the despair of being in constant pain and also not having any answers. I go through feelings of guilt for being "lazy" and for feeling like a "burden" you know? There are the times where all you want is a freakin answer or the times where you have an ER doc suspiciously eyeing you and assuming you're looking for drugs that just make you feel like dirt.

The feeling like I'm lazy thing really gets me depressed...as if being on a constant roller coaster of "am I going to be in pain today?" isn't enough, you know? Like I said, I don't have family and I've been on my own since about 17 so I've always worked very hard to take care of myself...so I just feel so helpless and guilty that sometimes I push myself a little too hard and that makes it worse!

Anyways, it's nice to have a community of understanding, kind and knowledgeable people - thank you again for the warm welcome. Also, thanks for the info about the mri (neuro not looking at it)

I have an appt in January with a U of Penn neuro so we'll see...it's 400 bucks!! lol I'll probably just walk out of there without answers and another freakin neurontin script...grumble

Owlish - you know what they say about great minds....

Happy Thanksgiving All!!

-Victoria
(sorry I always write so much heh I...ramble)