I'm so sorry for your pain, KittyLady, all the forms. While I can't identify (only commiserate) with how you feel, I can sort of give you a view of how those around you feel.

My boyfriend is in constant lower back pain from an old work injury. It is no where near the intensity you experience; at least, I don't think it is. He doesn't talk about it. He describes his many sleepless nights as, "Can't get comfortable". Does that mean horrible pain or exactly what he says? I have no idea.

I wish I could help him. I feel helpless. Maybe your kids feel helpless. Maybe they don't want to talk because it makes them realize they can't help, not realizing that just talking helps.

I wish you peace, KittyLady.