Fatigue has been my most debilitating symptom, and the hardest one to explain. Like virtually all aspects of MS, it's not the same for everybody. I was never greatly troubled with "sleepiness". Until the last few weeks, I virtually never napped during the day--and it's been about 13 years.

Much of the time my fatigue is physical. My leg and arm muscles tire quickly and easily. I thought about making fudge, then remembered how much stirring was required. Forget it.

But for me, most of the time, fatigue is an overall combination body and brain experience. I am empty. I have nothing. That feeling of "I'm too tired to think--ask me later". I can almost feel my brain hurt as I struggle to focus my thoughts, the same way tired leg muscles hurt and you groan as you struggle to get out of the chair.

Sure, I had experienced crushing fatigue before; who hasn't? But it was always the RESULT of something. Fatigue after an all-nighter, after Christmas, after a long car trip, after surgery, after child-birth. The concept of mentally and physically hitting the wall when I haven't DONE anything has been very hard to get my mind around, and virtually impossible to explain to others.

On a day when I'm experiencing my worst level of fatigue, I also have emotional fatigue. I'm too tired to be excited, I'm too tired to be sad, I'm too tired to be worried. I'm too tired to care, and too tired to CARE that I don't care. It's as though my brain is in slow-motion.

I'm thankful that it isn't at its worst every day. Some days (not many) I'm almost normal, most days I lack physical and mental energy to a varying extent; and some days I feel a hundred years old. Some days (like yesterday) I read threads (like this one) and want to comment, but my brain is just too tired to put thoughts together. Not "fog", but fatigue. Not "regular" fatigue, but MS Fatigue.