Hi,
I know how life can be.....harsh!! .I'm 37 and have been in constant pain for 21 years. I don't really go into this much detail but I wanted to respond to your post. You're not alone everyone on these board will listen

Here's my lengthy story (sorry, it's so long)....besides severe back pain (2 sep back probs) I have RSD which is a condition that makes it feel like my skin is burning-leg and foot -right side only. Caused by a freak accident. I also have arthritis in every disc in my neck that causes migraines...since 2003, had a spinal fusion at that point. I've had several other painful conditions over the years that are resolved and now I have the 3 I just listed.

I can't work, not since 2005. I have to live with my mother. I have to spend every second laying down on my bed. That's because of the back pain and RSD.

How do I survive it all? I have to stay busy every second or I think about the life I now have. To keep my mind off of it I have hobbies that I can do while laying down (knitting, crochet,) I learned right after my 3 back surgeries in 2006 which is right before I stopped working (due to the RSD). I am known as "the one who's always in pain". I pretend like i'm fine I don't show my pain to others. It's very isolating.

You mentioned friends and family.........It's hard when the pain takes over. I have 1 true friend. I've been treated badly by 2 of my so called best friends whom I've known since I was SEVEN and I'm no longer friends with them. Because of my conditions. It's hard.

I tell people my life is a balancing act. I have to have enough good things to out weigh the bad. The good things: I have 2 small dogs that definitely keep my spirits up. I don't know how i'd get through it without them. I also knit and crochet for charities. But I do feel like I have 2 full time jobs dealing with the pain and staying emotionally and mentally stable.

It's also a job figuring all that out. It takes time to find your "balance".
If you need to talk to someone, let me know
Heather