Thank you everyone - sorry for such a bummer post. I think there is hope because he has started going to counseling and is committed to it now. I wanted to put up a quick post that we just had the best talk we've had in years about some very difficult subjects.

Thanks for being there, people. It's a long road, and one I should have started years ago, but you just keep thinking "it's going to get better", especially when you've had 20 years of a great marriage.