Sorry to be late as usual, but you have my support! My situation is not identical of course, but similar. Been married 28 yrs. & kids are out on their own finally for better or worse. Hubby has many anger issues with me & my new health/work problems due to RSD/CRPS. Our oldest son also brings out the worst out the worst in him. I'm glad you can get your's to counseling, I don't think mine would consider it.
I'm in in the Valley area too if you'd like to P.M. me we could talk.