except to say that I have been in that frame of mind, "is this really the rest of my life?" It's a hard place to be. I suppose you have to find that something that keeps you tethered to the world, that can pull you back when your thoughts turn really dark. For me, it's my kids.

I have a lot of anxiety over my condition, what's causing it, where is it going. Traditional therapy doesn't really work for my kind of obsessive thinking/health anxiety. Cognitive behavioral therapy, basically learning tools to redirect your thoughts seems to be the best answer. It is a daily struggle. It does help to take each day as it comes, set goals for the day, and give yourself positive strokes at the end of each day for making it to the end.