Doc,
Thanks for all the links and info and the book. I've been wanting to find some coping methods so I will def check those out.

Heather,

Your story is very tragic because you have actually had the surgeries and they failed. I also have a host of other problems too but nothing I'll whine about here. I know what you mean about lying down all the time. Today I went to work and managed not to leave early, which I often do. All can think about all day is lying down. Like you I don't really talk about it, so people are so surprised when I tell them the level of severity. Even then, they don't get it. I admit I never got it b4 I was in pain either. I appreciate your comment about the friends thing. I'm so conditioned I associate every situation with pain. Just thinking about going to a museum makes me cringe (and I love museums). I guess the few I did have I pushed away, mostly because I wanted to go home and lie down. I hope to find my balance. I've have to give up everything over the past few years. I'm sure I'm not the only one here.

Ginnie,
The narcotic issue is something that I struggled with for years to no avail. At first no matter what level of pain I said I was in the doc would never give me anything. I been to 4 pain clinics and had MRI and CT. Tramadol is as high as I've got in 3 years, except one time I got 12 percs from the ER. In NY state docs are limited to what they can prescribe and it all goes into a state registry. I do see a psychiatrist regularly, and he'll do the nerve drugs among other I get, but no Pain killers. It's just sickening to be treated like a junky. I have had many dif doctors give me different types of injections, and even then they still think I may be med seeking. I truly don't even even use them recreationally. No pain, no pills. Alot of abusers ruined it for those of that need them for real.

Jenig,
I'm glad you have you kids. I'm incapable of dating or meeting a significant other but I really wish I had someone like that. I took it for granted in the past and now I have many regrets. I was in behavioural therapy for a while but had to go back to regular because my depression has gotten so out of control I can't function. I hope to get back to the point where I can start working on my many psychological problems. If only I could get a new spine.

Thanks everyone.