Thank you SO SO much everyone for your support. It's so comforting to know there's a place to let go and share really, really hard things.

I'll definitely consider many options, but I think there may have finally been a turning point because in the talk, he not only finally fully agreed about some behaviors, but he also took complete ownership of them, and we came up with and agreed upon what to do if they come up again. This is definitely a very new and positive change, and I think it came about because of my being tougher. It's just so difficult to know when to put your foot down and stop hoping that it will just stop, after you've had 20 very good years of marriage, plus so often being hardly able to even survive the day because of all the crap that hit us from all sides all at once. Since we moved here almost 7 years ago now, it's been one long non-stop nightmare of so many things that I sometimes hesitate to describe them because I don't think people will believe me! I mean, just the car accidents alone (100% not our fault, any of them! in one of them, we were hit by a 18-wheeler truck loaded with sulfuric acid, and it wiped out our car, trailer, and 2 quads!) have been nuts.

Thank you all SO much for listening, and for your support. It was an awful day yesterday, but the changes held today, and for the first time in several years, I have hope because of the completely changed attitude he had in our talk. The counselor we are going to apparently does really well with men, so God willing, we've finally hit a turning point. If not, I really do need to consider more drastic measures, though, I know.