Had a spill on the bike a few weeks ago - just a huge right *** contusion. Scared me. Took it easy for a week. Ramping back up, but being stymied by cold. Ascended a 2500 ft mt yesterday and despite layering was freezing- hands froze up. Then snowflakes start to fall! Last night i got a cold. Today beaten down. Felt Sick. So glad i live somewhere mild. Don't know if in going out tomorrow or not- see how i feel.

Signed up for a computer program called Strata - for compulsive endurance athletes. I can hold 250-260 watts for 40 minutes and cruise in low 200s for longer periods. It's no ironman champion, but it's solid. I friended a surgeon i work with - we're pretty similar. Gone on a couple rides with him - he is a good person.

My biggest problem is me. Crps can be slowed / etc. Many of my signs have gone away with the serious conditioning, but the pain stays. The psychological changes and defenses you build hard to undo. My insomnia and fatigue are major problems.

One of my coworkers calls me lazy. Part of me wants to kill him - if he only knew! But the few senior people i have told - they say tell no one else. My friends at work who know - they don't know what to do. If I had a friend going through this I would have no idea. It's better that they not know.

My wife and I aren't great with each other any more. Because I'm up and down always struggling and we have three small kids. We both pour tons of energy into them. If i were her I'd be having a hard time too!! She's not a bad person / it's just a tough situation. As much my fault as hers. This disease is just a monster.

I hope you guys are doing ok - we cut down our tree today. Kinda more cool than a lot - first time!