Have you seen a rheumatologist? If you suspect you have RA that is the type of doc I'd see.

Having RA, if it turns out to be that, well, it's not a "death sentence." I've lived with arthritis for eons - it seems - but it was dx'd formally when I was 22 and you're 32. You've had 10 years longer than I did without suspecting it . I'm not discounting your feelings and emotions, but...

Having arthritis isn't the end of life. But only a doc can do an accurate dx.

I hope it turns out that you don't have RA. What you are describing, though, is something that a doc should definitely be assessing. It could be a range of things. The only pathway to treatment is accurate dx.