((((((Karen)))))),

I'm so sorry about your son. I pray that the surgeon is able to repair his shoulder so that there's no lasting problems and no pain.

You talked about 'time' in one of your other posts -- 'time' and not wanting to know. Have they told you that you're eligible for hospice care??

I got involved with hospice when my Mom was sick more than 2 decades ago. After her final steps, I wanted to repay in some way the gifts that had been given to me so I worked for a year as a home health aide. I was the only full-time aide. I had 25 patients that I rotated through over a 2-week period. All but one were elderly. Most were cancer patients.

Because of your work history, you know what a gift it is to work in hospice care

Karen, I recognize the fear and the panic in your voice. Please try to get more of your family members and your local community involved -- your Mom, your son's father, your boyfriend, local church workers.

Your son sounds like he'll grow into a fine young man. Caring, thoughtful, loving. You've done a fantastic job of raising him

My son was 11 when my Mom (his grandmother) was preparing to take her next steps. A wonderful man, Rabbi Earl A. Grollman, helped me get my Mom moved from out-of-state (South Carolina) to hospice care in Massachusetts, He was on the Board of Directors of the hospice at the time. Rabbi Grollman is a writer and helper. He's a wonderful, caring man. He helps people deal with losses of every kind -- losses through divorce, death... It might help you and your son if you can get some of his books from your local library. I would not have been able to cope without his help.

((((((Karen)))))), a lot of the pain and turmoil that you feel now is because you're fighting. We can accomplish more when when we stop fighting and allow The Universe to enfold us and guide us and teach us and show us how to teach others.

Death is not some great hulking monster waiting around the corner to devour us. It's only a letting go of the pain. We don't have to let go of the love.

I pray for you, precious lady. I hope you find the strength to do what you need to do. I hope your family and friends come together to help you.

BIG HUGS (and blessings for both you and your son, healing prayers for your son, and prayers for no pain for you, Karen).

Barb