I think you've already taken the first step to dealing with this Geordie, and you should be very proud of yourself. It's a brave thing to do, to admit that it's become a problem, even more so to post about it here and ask for help.

We all have times of despair when we would do anything to stop the pain, I don't think that's unusual. I bet most of us have had a few at one point and liked the numbing effect it can have...but as Vrae said, it leads to more trouble later, and that trouble is just not worth it.

Alcohol is a drug like any others we take, and it also has side effects. The problem is that alcohol is not controlled, we can have as much as we want, it is socially acceptable and tolerated up to a certain point. BUT the side effects of drink aren't just hangovers, shaking, headaches, nausea, and needing more than you used to to get the same effect. It doesn't just wreck your liver and stomach and BP and goodness knows what else. It destroys relationships and self-respect, work, independence, your ability to drive. So much is at stake. You know all this, and you are intelligent enough to realise that you have taken that step towards it controlling you. Drinking in the morning is a clear sign that you need to gain that control back.

Seek some help from your doctor, a counsellor, anyone. Tell them as you have done us that you are drinking too much and have a problem with it, and ask for help. There are courses and programmes that can support you as you find the strength to leave that bottle alone and fight this without its dubious help.

You can do this. Reaching out is so hard when you want to be strong and in control but just by writing it you have shown the will and the fight within you to do it.

I've had the odd day where I've had a tot of whisky just to numb and warm me. And it's so nice. But I have to stop at that one and say no. One can be my rare extravagance, my middle finger to the world and the CRPS. Any more is dangerous simply because it would stop being a rare madness, and become a prop, something I used to help me get through.

Good luck Geordie and I can't tell you how much respect I have for you. I think this is one of the bravest posts I've seen. And this board is populated by the brave, who know just how hard this road is....

Bram