Hey Songbird, hang in there girl

Yes, those low feelings of hopelessness and fear and loss and just of being alone with this monster are all very much part of CRPS. It has a well-documented raft of psychological components, mostly because of living in constant pain with something the medical community at large has very very little knowledge of. It's one thing to suffer from something your doctor at least knows about and has a definite treatment plan for - quite another to be in our situation. Anybody would feel depressed at that, especially if your husband is being a bit of an idiot (polite version of word I wanted to use) and causing you emotional worry on top of everything else...

If you are feeling miserable all the time and crying most days, then it's definitely worth seeing your doc to ask for his opinion and maybe a little help. I've been lucky and kept away from anti-depressants so far myself, but I know that they can be an enormous help. It's definitely not wise to ignore those feelings if you know they are dominating your life at the moment.

If you have a close friend you can talk to, tell them everything over an evening - in a way it's better than therapy because you can have a drink and maybe even a laugh while you unburden yourself. It's worked wonders for me when I've been able to do it. Getting someone else's perspective is a big thing - and you need to know that it's not you causing this. Another option is actual therapy with a counsellor - I'm doing this myself at the moment, and it is wonderful to sit for an hour with a complete stranger and have them listen and talk and understand, while knowing nothing about your life except what you tell them. It's very cleansing and healing. I have to stop after my next one (money ) but the few I've had have been well worth it, and I feel a little stronger.

I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time. Try to believe that it will get better, and that you are strong enough to deal with this disease and the things that come with it. You have been so kind and supportive to other folk on here, and you have more strength than it feels like right now. These times can make you feel suffocated and broken, but they do pass and you will feel happy again. If you possible can, talk to your husband and ask for some understanding and support. He should be helping you through this time, not making it worse. If that's not a good idea, I hope that you have someone you can turn to instead, maybe even to go and stay with family or a friend for a few days... It might give you both some space to breathe and regroup.

I'm sorry if none of the above garbage has helped , but I want you to know that you do matter and that you deserve to feel better than this. Never give up, and believe that tomorrow is a new day that just might be better than this one. I hope it is

Take good care of yourself and have a few treats if you can. I'll be thinking of you.

Bram.