Quote:
Originally Posted by Lottie
Hi friends, I am not very good at expressing my ideas lately, but I will giveit a go. I tend to keep my pain and mobility challenges hidden. It is partly because I am a private person, partly because I have always been a hard working productive person and don't want to be perceived otherwise, partly because I don't want to be gloomy gus and partly because I don't trust anyone would really understand. Because of this approach, most people outside of my husband and daughter don't have a clue about how much I suffer. But I don't feel up to explaining it. If I had a cancer diagnosis, people get that and would ask "how you doing"? But no one ever asks me. I just want someone to say "I know you must be suffering and I can see how hard you work to keep things as normal as possible ". SO I was wondering if u would be willing to share how you go about balancing your "public face" with your private suffering?
I hope this makes sense
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It's crazy how much we think alike. It makes perfect sense to me. I keep my pain hidden unless I fully trust a person. That would be my brother and my best friend. I even keep my pain hidden from my mother, whom I have to live with because I can't work. She hassles me about not doing enough to "help" the pain. Long story there. I don't care to explain this to others either. I totally agree about you saying I just want to be recognized as someone who suffers but is workin there butt off to keep things as normal as you can. I just want someone who says they care. My mom doesn't even know the letters RSD. She doesn't even care to know and understand what I have. I even stopped talking to 2 of my closest friends, friends for 25 yrs, because they treated me so poorly....
because of my pains. It's hard to trust people and hope they don't judge me. I don't want to be known as the one who's always in pain. That's the main reason I don't want people to know. I can't win.
I'm stuck laying down in my bed, every day, so I stick to myself. Even if I had a choice NOT to I still would be. It's exhausting trying to act normal. My dogs cheer me up so much. Don't know what i'd do without them. Probably cry a lot
Heather