I'm the same way. I work really hard at work to hide how much pain I am in. I get frustrated and upset when it shows through because I DON'T want people to treat me any differently at work. And I do a darn good job at it but sometimes there's no helping it. Like last week...I answered the back door at work for a UPS delivery and the delivery woman threw some bags on the ground at my feet (apparently she was upset that it took us so long to answer the door)...and the bags dumped snow right on my RSD ankle. I was down in an instant and had to sit on the floor for over an hour crying. It was terrible...not just the pain...but all the employees who wanted to do things for me and help me...but there was nothing they could do for me. I hated every second of that and it's the reason I DO put on a show at work and hide the pain I am in. I want normal...I don't want sympathy or for people to treat me any different.

So...I don't really "balance" it...I just accept that I put on a public face and hide the pain when I am at work or when I go out...so I don't expect those people to treat me any differently or ask me how I am doing. I use a walker...so it's pretty obvious that I have a medical condition...but I work hard to create that "normal" atmosphere around me and aside from the occasional threats from my boss about "making sure I have people help me" because if I don't he will fire me (not really...he just doesn't want me to hurt myself and worries about me...he's a nice guy)...no one mentions my medical condition at all. One of the managers even forgets that I have the walker most of the time. I mean...she sees it and knows I have it/need it...but a manager from another store asked her about it one time and she was like, "What are you talking about?" because I still run circles around most of the people I work with...I just leave tire tracks when I do it...lol!

But seriously...normalcy is very important to me and I do my best to create that around me. When I have had issues...no one has ever questioned me about it since my return to work (before...that was a different store that I won't go in to). But maybe that's because of the walker. My walker does give people a visual thing to see to indicate I have medical problems. It's embarrassing a little that I need a walker at age 30 (been using it for a few years now so started in my 20s)...but aside from the physical benefits I get from it...it definitely helps people to "see" this invisible condition that I deal with. Sometimes I get comments from strangers that I don't really need the walker or from people who think I am holding onto it for someone else...but I don't really care what they say/think. People who know me know that I need it.