Hello, Tina,

I'm at year 51 in marriage. It hasn't gotten easier, just different over time.

However, YEARS ago, and I mean years (let's say 30) I started cutting back on Holiday work.

Anyone who invited us anywhere, I would go. Let someone else clean and shop and cook and make up beds. I'll bring money and great gifts (big bottles of everyone's favorite 'whatever', anything asked for), and I'll be a 'jolly guest'.

I stopped baking. Stores have the MOST amazing stuff! They keep it right there on the shelves just so we can buy it when we need it. Better than homemade.
And so many righteous angels make ;home made; that it will be available some where some time. WE all have too much to eat anyway.

I buy Christmas gift bags (from the big box stores and on line) and stick in the presents and some tissue paper. AND BRING THEM home afterwards. Put all the little bags in the biggest bag, fold up the tissue for the bottoms of bags in the future, and pull off the used tags. All I need is some new tags, and I'm ready next year.

This year I actually gave some MONEY to my 11 and 14 year old grandsons, they LOVED it. That and gift coupons for a super duper race track place they love. An experience, NOT more stuff.

Simplify. Buy it. Don't do it. Get it pre-made. The important thing is the people know you love them.

I have great sympathy for depression, Tina. I have had some treatments this year (IgG) on a weekly basis. And each week I had an immune reaction to the treatment. And with that came depression, like clockwork. Depression is really insidious because it seems like reality. Each week the depression finally lifted, Only to return with the next treatment!

Needless to say my Immunologist finally halted the treatments (after 11!!) and now I'm doing the same treatment, but only monthly, and with Prednisone to offset the reaction. So far so good, with one treatment.

I hope your husband is getting all the medical help and exercise and self care he can get. And I know that some times that isn't enough.

At least with PN, I know that it is happening TO me, and that it isn't ME. But with depression it really feels as if I AM LOST.

Hang in there, 2014 is gonna be a very good year for all of us!

Hugs, Elaine