Doydie,

No fair!
Planting such an idea in an avid gardener's mind in the midst of a northern Canadian winter borders on cruelty .

Of course you realize that I will be hollowing out a potato, putting a tomato seed in it and planting it in a large pot...just to see what happens before it eventually either gets leggy and dies from lack of light in my living room, or needs to be dealt with in some way because it has outgrown its pot or its vines have taken over the living room.

Erin,

The fatigue as well as the ever changing symptoms is a great concern. Please see your doctor (I know what a drag that can be), but you need to make sure that you don't have an infection or that something else is going on that should be treated.

I think that some fatigue is a part of the MS for most of us, but what you are describing in your latest post seems extreme. Having to deal with ongoing symptoms and a few new ones entering the picture as well, can be a cause of the fatigue all by itself. But from what you have posted over the last few months, you and your family has had to cope with some major stresses and health situations as well. Maybe it is the cumulative effect of all of that over time that is causing the degree of fatigue that you experienced, but it really is important to make sure that something else isn't causing it.

Please be kind to yourself and your body, even when family members seem to not understand or fail to be empathetic. For sure your Dad and Mom have their own issues to contend with, so they may not realize what you are going through, so you need to decide what you can and can not do, through being honest with yourself first and foremost.
What is, and has been on your plate is a lot to deal with for anyone, never mind also having the emotional frustration of being young and physically disabled; and having a family’s health & mental/emotional issues added to it.

I worry about you feeling like you are stuck at home and also that you are spending so much time on your own, alone in your room. That’s probably similar to your parent’s concerns, and why they want to get you out for dinners etc. It does sound like some of their motivation might be for your mother’s benefit, but I do think that they have your best interests at heart, as most parents will.
Maybe you can satisfy them as well as your need to get some socialization and time away from home by making plans for a meal or an event with them in advance, so you have time to prepare for it and rest before actually engaing in it.

All of us need to get some socialization in, besides going to doctors and PT. That socialization might not include going out because of physical limitations, but it can still be satisfied by having others come in to visit, or even by spending some quality time with family at home.
Perhaps you can plan to have a meal delivered like Chinese food, and then you can all share that while watching a movie together and/or doing something together that you can all enjoy. Something like playing scrabble or another board game might do the trick. Anything like that might help to reconnect with family and friends in a more positive way, especially if you decide not to discuss health issues during that time, while still allowing for the needs that your body demands in the comfort of your own home.

Over the holidays I spent some time with shut-ins in my community. While some were expecting family & friends to visit, there were a few that had no one. Their disabilities had made it virtually impossible for them to go out on their own, so other than hired health care support services, like homecare, coming in a few days a week, they spend their time alone.

I can’t describe what a joy it was to be invited in to visit with them. My goodness, the stories that they told and the laughs that we shared…even poking fun at those able bodied individuals who were out and about, going full tilt, hair straight back in preparations for the Holiday Season, while we sat peacefully sipping tea, sharing stories and stroking their pets.
Although it was a bit of a struggle for me with this body to do that, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

To know that just a short visit like that brightened someone else’s day, and let them know that they mattered; that someone cared and loved them brightened mine as well. I found two new friends doing that over the holidays and although we may not see each other physically very often, I’ve been connecting on the phone and via email with them.

This Sunday we’ve planned on all getting together for a short visit at one of their houses so we can go over the “mysteries of how to send and receive emails”. I’ll be picking up the one lady and taking her over to the other’s house (the one that has a internet but doesn’t know how to use it very well), and then will deliver her back home again afterwards. Hopefully those two will connect as friends after that as well.

I know that this may sound pretty insignificant, but for these two women, and the potentials it has for reducing their isolation, it is very significant. It is also very significant for me because it has given me a greater perspective on my own situation.
Yes, I love my privacy and also very much enjoy living alone, but I now see the need to remain connected to others, and to expand my horizons beyond the walls of my home and mind.
There is a huge difference between living alone and being alone.

I hope that you will see that too and will maybe try to get some quality social time with your family and/or friends. It really does take the edge off of the physical symptoms and elevates mood, opens the heart, and puts some freshness of thought into the mind.
If not for them, do it for you .

With love, Erika