Its true when I go to a doctors and they have that pic of a body and ask to mark where it hurts I just write full body pain, cause there isnt a place I really dont have pain. Since the latest diagnosis of my bones I have been really depressed as its just a waiting game to see how bad it will get and what the treatments will be at the moment I have to keep it in a boot so it doesnt flex which chips the bone when it does. I was just making more progress and now am going backwards with pain since the bones hurt its flaring up my RSD and am turning purple again, I havent had these color changes for a few years now. I just dont want it to be like it was 3 years ago when I was in the ER and hospitalized for flares every 1-3 week for about 5-10 days at a time. Its just I have lost most of my life, I keep thinking that I wont ever have a chance to meet someone and have a family, and experience what most take for granted, like my sister she is jealous of me that I have my mom helping me all the time, where she rides horse every day, has a home a family and a life. If she wants I will trade my life for hers any day. Then my brother yelled at me the other day cause he is a drug adict and he applied for medicaid and they are sending a check to pay for all his bills and instead of my mom getting it to pay them off he wants it just to spend so I got mad and then he yelled at me saying I was selfish and that I ruined my siblings lives for having my mom with me and that my brothers and sister wont ever forgive me. He says Iam selfish where all my SSDI money I give to my mom to pay for bills, i never buy for myself, and all I ever do is try and help even though its very little. where as he being an adict stole our stuff and pawned it, stole my meds and shot it up, I had to put three locks on my meds including a safe to keep hime out and he spends all our money buying tobacco chew and cigarettes but yet I am the mean one that my siblings blame and my aunts, uncles and dad blame my mom saying she made me sick. I keep asking for my mom to have him get his own place but its her son and she cant throw him out, and my depression isnt just my medical issues but dealing with my brother that only cares for himself.