I agree with MoMike, you should consult with a lawyer.

I think your focus should be on processing a divorce and getting your fair share of any equity in the house or other marital assets.

I can understand being angry that he may have ended up being more financially comfortable than you, but if most of those assets are coming from his girlfriend and their kids, you have NO claim to that.

If he also gets something close to $800 a month, the 2 kids will get $200 a month each (that money is to be spent on THEM....and kids are expensive!) If the new girlfriend makes $1,000,000 a month, you have no claim to any of that.

If he had a high paying job and collects a monthly SSDI check of $4000 (Does anyone know what the maximum a SSDI check could be is ?), perhaps you could look for spousal support based on the difference between your $800 and his $4000, but if he maxes out on his SSDI, he must have had a healthy salary.......I'd wonder why you didn't look for spousal support based on that much earlier than now.

As you haven't mentioned trying to get spousal support from him before, I'm guessing that his income wasn't much above yours......and it's adding up the kid's portion of his possible SSDI and his girlfriend's income that are getting to you. If that's so, you will be better off trying to "let go" of the anger about the inequity.

I hope that doesn't sound too harsh. Just trying to get you primed to go after your legitimate share of any marital assets that there may be and not focus on/waste your energy on outside issues.

My situations has some similarities to your's. I am planning a divorce n
soon as my youngest will graduate from high school this year. We do have some assets, including our home, that will have to be divided. Unfortunately, my half of that won't be enough for me to buy the smaller ranch home that I would like for myself. My husband's retirement income is 2.5 times what my SSDI is......and he's only 55 and free to work another job if he want's more income. His dad just passed away and left assets including a $500,000 house (and I don't know how much cash) to my husband and his brother. That's not mine......and it shouldn't be. Am I bitter that I can't afford the modest home I want and he's going to move straight into a better house than our's and then splurge on a vacation condo in Florida ? Yup ! It's really not productive though.....I need to focus on hoping a divorce judge will believe that I deserve a more generous "split" of the assets, some spousal support, and adjusting my plan for what I'll be able to afford.

I absolutely understand that your situation is more dire. $800 a month is tight.

I would get in touch with a lawyer ASAP about filing for divorce to force the split of assets, namely that paid for house. Were there any other marital assets ? A lawyer can tell you if you hurt your claim on the house by leaving......and whether you live in a state that calls for an equal division (50/50) of assets.....or an equitable division of assets, which could be 50/50 or could be weighted more toward the larger wage earner or toward the more needy spouse. Supporting yourself for the last 8 years could hurt any potential claim for spousal support now (if his current income is much higher or if he also has retirement income)

Oh, I just had another thought. I don't mean to be indelicate or too intrusive, and you might not want to answer this here, just think on your options......if your monthly disability is SSI (for the disabled who are very low income and have minimal assets) or SSDI (disability insurance for those who have enough recent quarters paid in via taxes), or if you have Medicaid, section 8 housing, or any other benefits for the low income, even a small change in income/assets could have major effects on the benefits that you receive. That's more questions for the lawyer !

Best of luck to you nibbs