Am still working thru the intimacy, sex, affection thing after a quarter century of marriage. So there's also meds, physical aging going on. Have no answers. Just adaptable, willing to try various things, trying not to expect much, wanting to give what I can, etc. It's ok, really. I do treasure what we have tho it is vastly different from what it once was. The best to all!
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Originally Posted by valooma
My partner and I are in crisis. We've been together for one year and have only had sex about three times in all that time. Before he met me, I had sex with a lot of people - I was wild. I had sex with whoever looked my way, letting myself be taken advantage of. I was an absolute mess and a complete tramp. And then I met my boyfriend and it felt like I could relax. there was no pressure to anything I didn't want to and somehow in that freedom, I felt I didn't have to have sex and it made me feel better about myself. I've had a long term relationship before and it was the same. We didn't have sex and it was the ruin of the relationship. Just like it is with my partner now- it is ruining things between us. I can't seem to explain to him what's wrong with me. He thinks me not having sex is only particular to him because he knows I was with a lot of men just before I met him. I can't seem to communicate well enough to him that my insecurities about sex, and how weird it makes me feel is the reason I had a lot of sex and the reason I also at times don't have sex at all. What can I do? I am so confused, and I am having so much trouble explaining to my partner how I feel. Any thoughts? Anyone have any similar experiences? I feel so alone and don't know where to turn or who to talk to. Please help if you can.
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