Quote:
Originally Posted by PamelaJune
I've just spoken with my PM by phone and he is coming to see me in a few hours, but he has definitely said I can go home tomorrow. I miss the companionship of my pets and of course I miss my husband. We have discussed sleeping arrangements and we will have to sleep in separate rooms until I can get this pain under control. I had no idea I was crying in my sleep and with every turn moaning and groaning with pain. I feel terrible that our lives are so disrupted by this monster "chronic pain" that we are all so familiar with. I have lived with it for so long that my acceptance has become unwavering in the very essence of "it is what it is". Sitting here today, with my older sister just left, I'm wondering how it all come to this. Stupidly feeling sorry for myself and wishing we could get on with it rather than all this waiting to see if this works or that works, just put the damn paddle in and be done. I'm resigned to taking the full and increased dose of OxyContin and Endone because no matter how much I dislike them, they seem to be the only things working at present. Not happy
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dear Pam
as many understand
i refer to myself as a
physician induced addict
the "monster" must stay at bay
as i get very upset and ugly when
my pain isn't masked by the meds
we are on and a slave to them i am
it sickens me to hear of doctors getting
off as if they had no part in a person meds
related issues
there are doctors who keep person
unbeknownst to them just to keep the money
flowing smoothly into their devious practice
oxycontin for long term then roxicodone for break
through pain muscle relaxers not to mention the meds for cancer
anxiety
then to get stool
softener as it takes a toll on the regularity
the something for the nausea
it all suck no matter what
but as i too say
"it is what it is"
but in the name of the Father
in Jesus Mother Mary
i believe
and to you being mindful
take and do whatever with
trusting guidance so you fell no pain
we all understand having to do this
there are side affects we suffer with too
hope you find it in your heart to allow
yourself a moment and i know it is Not
in your head
another thing doctors are famous for
i also suffer from fibromyliga a disease
doctors believed it was nonsense
well blessed be in your faces DOCTORS
who told their patients it was in their head
ha! to them
feel good as you can
we did not ask for "it" the "Monster"
you are loved and cared for
by our fellow sufferers
keep the faith