Ok, I'm Biotching a bit. I'm really really sick of living like this, Ya know? It just isn't me, anymore. I used to be such a fun person...Laughing, loving, playing and even working.
Now I just exist.
No Hubby, no playmates, can't drive, no place to go..nothing to do. I get up, after 2 or 3 tries, go to the pot, let my dog out, feed the dog, feed my face, turn on my PC, come here and my day begins.... it progresses much in the same way and then to bed.
Even though I like being alone, most of the time and I enjoy the safety and solitude of my Home, I am lonesome, bored and in a funk. It's my own fault. I could get off my lazy butt, get it together and do something about it.
I really don't know what I want out of life anymore! What else can I do? My family is great and always there for me, whenever I need them and I for them. I have two Friends. One has been a friend since we were in the third grade together and she calls and e-mails and drops in once in awhile....
And the other friend, who I met through an MS support group in 1991. We used to talk and laugh all the time, but since I don't go out anymore, we seldom talk. See, my fault. I'm not blaming anyone else for my funk...I've made my bed, but out of necessity not choice.
You all seem to be so active and still having fun, even though some of you are worse off than I am, physically. I'm such a lazy butt!
I was on Paxil and quite content to live in my little, non worry, world, but the damn stuff stopped working, after 6 years.
My GP changed me to Prozac and it just 't isn't working as well as Paxil did. He started me on 20mg and I was all the way up to 60mg Paxil, so maybe I will ask him to increase my doseage a bit.
Well, I guess this is the end of my pity party. Thanks for listening.
