Sorry. I'm new on here so apologies if I haven't done this correctly. I read your rant and felt your anguish. Nothing can really be done to change it all but I guess somehow what you are going through will change you. The trick is to believe there is a reason and that the reason has some kind of meaning which will eventually turn to your good. Easy to say I know and hard to hold on to. In the meantime, prayers and thoughts are with you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brambledog
WARNING: Angry rant / pity party.
I don't know what the heck is going on with the weather here in the UK, but there's another storm coming in, the barometer is dropping, and every cripsy bit of me is shouting loudly tonight...
The last couple of days this has been coming on, I've been feeling crappier by the day. My body doesn't know what to do, my temperature regulation is all over the shop - I'm freezing cold, but the heating is right up, my knee is blue cold, my shin is red and hot. My whole left leg is burning from lower back down to the purple corpse-like tips of my toes. My hips and back ache. My original site (left knee) is alternating between fiery hot and icy cold every few minutes. A new region, the left side of my groin FFS, is acting all kinds of crips. My R (unaffected) knee feels hot and sore. My hands ache, my arm skin is hyper sensitive. My side burns, all the way up the side of my neck and into my hairline. My head aches, the skin between my eyes is permanently furrowed with lines from pain. I feel about a hundred years old.
I hate it hate it hate it. My cheerful outlook has deserted me tonight and I just want to burst into tears. Wouldn't do much good, so I'm doing the traditional VENT out to all you kind folk who I know:
A) get it.
B) have experienced this kind of crap and lived through it.
C) give two hoots.
D) aren't going to patronise me.
E) know more than pretty much every single frickin useless doc out there.
Like all of you, my normal persona hides a lot of pain. Tonight the mask is off. This is me. And I want it to stop.
Bram.
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