meshing what you want, need and feel to their wants, needs, and feelings... We mean well, and at times it's not always taken well. What we with more severe PN and many of the 'issues' that come along with it or because of it, we have to admit, and speak up about...and maybe learn to ARTICULATE better are the distinctions between in most cases what we WANT to do, as opposed to what we CAN do.

I've had to turn down lots of possible adventures with a friend [serious cancer issues] I dearly love - a person who enjoys the NOW and really makes PLANS for the future while beating relapses and new wrinkles. I tell her to take LOTS of pictures...and share them w/me. She gets to relate her adventures, and I get to experience them as well, thru her eyes.

One thing I've done, for years, that may sound strange....folks go places and ask 'Can I get you something...a present, maybe?' I ask for rocks or pebbles ...I have rocks from all over europe, the US, Australia, you name it. These aren't big rocks - but a piece of a place and an experience of just a friend getting me a rock and remembering to do so. The stories I hear about getting THAT rock, where, when, and-at times-the 'Looks' they get going thru customs are priceless-I am travelling with them in the process. Why did I pick ROCKS, you ask? They are cheap, small, portable and aside from airport twidgies' sideways looks, harmless and kind of fun. Those rocks are a sign of friendship.

Thing is, friends are like those rocks, in that they are more than just a symbol of caring and sharing...They are rocks that are the foundations of friendships.

To me, IMHO, it sounds like you mite have gotten a ROCK! Living here, Rolling Thunder is a very important event. Having lived here during the late 60's onward and the building of The Wall. And, then all after that. I know far too much of what it is about. That you have a guy who's knowing of your pain and changing how he deals with what's likely some of his pain...well, that all is one very special thing to have and share. Talk as best you can about things when you can and how you can. Sometimes it's not the words of the talk, but the sharing of the emotions behind all that talk that is important.

Think of it this way, you could have a SO or DH and been together, yet, apart for years...Make every moment, especially the good ones count, then, like gardening...cultivate some more...just needs a little tending!

Hugs to you and your SO, and to all this weekend - WHO's GOT some wild parties planned? I wanna hear about stuff that'll make me laugh so hard I'll have tears! GOT IT? - j