Vent all you need to. My mom as I said was most difficult. As far as the driving goes, if he is a danger report him. My mom took out a center post in her driveway, her right mirror, backed into another car, and dented forward on her garage door. Well I did indeed report her. She was definitely a danger, to herself and to others. She failed the tests. That is what they make the older folks do if they are reported. I studied the book with mom, but I knew she would never pass the driving. Heck I am an older folk! If my driving ever goes down, I have told my son to take away my key!
If your family will not support medical intervention, it is ok to back away from the situation. You do not have to be around it. I would also be annoyed with all the girly talk. Good grief, he is in his nineties...he must think he is still young! Let your hubby deal with it. You stay home read a book, watch a movie. Family members can be told the truth. If he is offensive, bow out, maybe the rest of the family will figure out in time that he needs help.
Not an easy situation, I know... wish I could tell you some magic thing to help. I only know I would not want to be around that behavior myself for very long. A little would go a long way. keep in touch, keep venting, I will listen. ginnie