I feel like I am living in a nightmare right now.

5 days from today will be one year since the car accident where I was hit by a drunk hit and run driver and suffered a concussion and subsequent PCS.

The road to recovery has been slow, confusing, scary, and frustrating. Some moments I felt like I was alone in never never land.

I saw a local neurologist for months who did nothing to help me - just told me "things take time" and "do what you can", and then through the great people on this board I found help through a neuropsych who pinpointed exactly what was wrong with me and got me the help I needed. Because of that interaction, through therapy to work on memory and cognitive issues, I was able to learn coping and compensation strategies, start driving again, and start feeling like I could live a normal life.

But the hardest part of my recovery has been work. Throughout my ordeal they have treated me badly, made derogatory comments (like to I have to wear a hat with wires sticking out of it during therapy), called me a "liability".

I have been open and honest with them throughout - told them that I have a MTBI, was seeking treatment, it was nothing that meant I couldn't perform my job - and I have.

I was only out of work a week and a half, and afraid for my job, went back. During my time out the Ops Mgr and Admin were on the web, searching PCS, and told my boss that I could be out for MONTHS. When I first came back to work - first at 4 hours, they told me I had "better not make any mistakes" and I didn't. No one did my work for me. But the workload was so large, I increased quickly to 8, and couldn't do it. So cut back to 6, and stayed at that level.

Things started happening to me at work. I was asked to keep a "log" of every minute of my day. I was told I couldn't use the printer, even though it was easier for me to read things printed rather than on the computer screen. I was given work with impossible deadlines. I have had work and more work piled on, and when I have asked my supervisor to prioritize as I cannot possibly get what she asks done in the time I am there, she refuses to prioritize, tells me that is my job to prioritize my work, yet holds me to the deadlines she sets.

When I was discharged from my therapy, I was cleared to return to work for 7 hours, gradually increasing to 8. It was a happy day for me, and I was excited to tell my employer the good news, only to be told "No", even though my boss was aware that that was the goal at the end of my 8 week course of therapy.

Things have continued to happen to me at work that I feel are a direct result of my PCS. The worst is they terminated my securities licenses (I am in financial service), telling me that my job functions "no longer required" me to be licensed as they "did not need me to cover for trades any longer". This obviously affects my salary if I am let go and have to find another job (they did not reduce my pay where I am).

After I told my boss I would need to go to the Labor Board to seek unemployment for the reduced hours, they let my up my hours - one month after I asked - but odd things continue to happen at work - to only me. I am singled out for things others are not. Yesterday - on my way out the door no less - I was asked to sign a document giving them access to my email "in case something happened to me". No one else was presented with this document, which doesn't make sense anyway as disaster recovery plans allow for email access if something happens to an employee.

It seems to me that they are trying force me out. I am watched like a hawk, and I feel it is a case of discrimination, because these things are happening to no one else - not being able to use the printer, etc., but because we are so small - 8 people, 2 of them PT, one the owner, one his wife - I feel I have no recourse or protection. We are not covered by FMLA or ADA. And my boss is not one to care about legal procedures or employee protections anyway.

I can't afford not to work. I actually love my job and am good at it. I've been there 3+ years. I come in early, shut my door, and don't get up all day. I am a "nose to the grindstone" type of worker, always have had a strong work ethic. I've bent over backward for my company. I don't even take lunch or breaks during the day, while others flit around and chat and socialize half the day, come in half hour, hour late every day and don't get treated the way I am.

I can't understand the insensitive and bad treatment. It almost borders on harassment. I had not made ONE mistake since I have been back. I have been extremely careful. Clients love me and I do a good job. I may be a "tad" slower reading things on the computer, and I have asked to have all instructions clear and in writing for my work but that has my only "accommodation" request. I must write everything down due to my ST memory issues, but I always have anyway, it's just the way I work. My therapist said on discharge that she thought I was doing "remarkable" and should have NO issues at all, as long as I had clear instructions at work and wrote things down. In fact she wanted me to come to her support group as an example to people of how you could move on and be successful after a MTBI.

I am hurt and baffled and scared, and SO disappointed, as I have worked so very hard over the last year.

Has anyone else been through something similar? How did you handle it? I am at a loss as to what to do....