Seriously, knowing what I know now I really wish I had a "do over".

Part of the reason I shared this was because of a recent enlightenment of a friends condition. I've known this woman for over 20 years (she is my husbands Boss's wife) and over the last say 5 we have grown much closer. I've always known she has a severe case of psoriasis as she goes to great lengths to disguise is affect on her skin. She also suffers a great deal when the weather is about to change and during a conversation we were having lately she casually mentioned how her legs and arms felt as if the flesh was exposed. Mind you, she didn't know that I also experienced that type of pain and when she said it, tears welled up in my eyes because though I understood psoriasis I didn't realize (nor had I ever asked) that she also suffered from psoriatic arthritis which is a very painful inflammatory disease of the joints/fingers/toes. I felt horrible that I had never asked. It wasn't because I didn't care or didn't have compassion I just didn't have the knowledge or experience with that condition to know much more about it than the obvious affects it has on the skin. Over the years I've picked up countless creams for her to try.. out of love and concern.. thankfully she always accepted the gesture with a smile even though she knew I didn't fully understand what she was going through. In hindsight - I could have been a much better friend, offered much more support when I was healthy and just plain taken the time to talk to her more about what she was dealing with on a daily basis.. yes, I whacked myself on the head more than once about this.. I felt terrible. She reached out to me, took the time to research all I was going through so much so that she sent articles to me about potential treatments, took me to doctors appointments etc., I love her. But.. the reason she took such an interest in part, was because she has intimate knowledge of what a life long chronic condition can do to a person. Friends and family who haven't experienced something similar don't really have the ability to understand even if they tried much of the info available would seem like gibberish. After a deep conversation with my friend we got to talking about CRPS and this particular topic.. she mentioned that it wouldn't surprise her that if someone who skimmed through the info available on the internet that they would easily come to the conclusion that it is a psychological illness, and I agree. Personally, I would rather friends/family remain ignorant about it, than skim through something and only to come to the conclusion that this is "all in our heads" which is implied throughout the internet.

Most of us will lose some friends but, we will also find new ones. The truth is, that on top of all our pain, we now have to work harder at every single relationship in order to keep it alive (and most won't stand the test).

Try not to let anger/bitterness settle in your heart and mind as this will only do you harm. Most people don't intentionally want to cause any of us harm or hurt feelings.

This lesson the hard way.. oh gosh do I wish I didn't have to learn it this way either. But.. now I can do a better job each and everyday!