I still struggle with this - I saw my first Neuro about 10 years ago when this started and was diagnosed with "Chronic Fatigue Syndrome with Psychological Issues" my illness thankfully became more mild and I spent years beating myself up for being "weak" and that it was all in my head and what I had put my family through etc etc. From then on whenever I felt weak/ill I would get angry with myself and convinced myself that I had anxiety. I spent years researching anxiety and trying everything to get rid of it....I could never understand why nothing worked...until my symptoms flared up again badly a year ago! I then found that my "Anxiety" was always bad when I felt ill/weak....yet, on better/stronger days I was fine!

I saw the same Neuro again last year when things flared up again but this time my diagnosis (for the same symptoms) was "Functional Disorder virally triggered not stress related" ?!?! My GP said there was no way my dramatic facial droop was imagined and she referred me to an MG specialist and was diagnosed, this wonderful Doctor never once questioned my or implied it was in my head and immediately said I have MG.

BUT.....Even now I am diagnosed I struggle and still revert back to being angry and doubting myself over my illness, I am currently having a bad flare up and finally had to take time off work and I am beating myself up and berating myself for not snapping out of it and getting back to work (I have just written a post about my current symptoms and doubts if you are wondering about them) I am seronegative with an unremarkable EMG but my Neuro said my clinical presentation, ice pack test, initial response to mestinon all secure the diagnosis and even a negative SFEMG wouldn't change it as the tests are not perfect.....I think I need the positive test to validate my diagnosis more than he does!!!!!!

How can one Doctor make such an impact on me and affect my life so much?? That same Doctor who later changed his diagnosis?? And yet, I have a lovely Doctor now who has never once doubted or questioned me and I am constantly in fear that he will change his mind and dismiss me because of the first Doctor! When I see him I feel reassured for a few days but then, the years of that old, negative mindset creep back in and and I doubt myself all over again!! I hope the day comes where I can control my symptoms and prove to myself that I can trust my body....and above all I hope the day comes that I can stop doubting myself! x