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sorry....just realized this was an old post......
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If experience with my 90 yr old Mom is any indication, I have to say that her dementia has progressed achingly slow. She started with memory issues several yrs ago and stopped be able to cook over 5-6 yrs ago.

If I can offer my honest advice, it is very obvious you love your husband and his family very much. Perhaps let him make the decision to go see his Mom or not.
Maybe research dementia a bit and educate yourself and maybe give him some info to read and tell him you are concerned about his Mom and asks if he minds if you call other members of his family.Although everyone is different, I don't think it is urgent he travel to see her but maybe make a game plan as your schedule and budget allow..I dont think it is panic time unless there are other health issues that may be causing her cognitive issues( mini- strokes often called TIA's , brain tumor, etc). If he has trouble handling and facing emotionally charged issues, seeing his Mom with dementia may be very difficult for him. I have found many in my family and my husbands family just prefer not to know or deal with these difficult issues and avoid them at all costs so you you are not alone in dealing with that. I realize it can be incredibly frustrating because I am like you, I want to know what is going on and I want to deal with it but I have learned the hard way, not everyone wants to know and deal with the reality of the situation. wish you all the best.
Diandra