How is everyone doing? I hope you all are doing better.

This winter has been so rough on me! I have had so many health issues, gotten flu twice, strep,(seems like every two weeks I get sick again), family has been horrible!, and my pain is kicking my butt! I can't wait for it to be over and atleast be warm outside. I am just so beaten up right now, I feel so lost. I know that even no one gets it that you all will be understanding. my living situation has gotten bad and kinda unsafe ...not physically but mentally and emotionally especially for my daughter! Because of it she has started some signs of depression. I am trying so hard to get us out of here and in our own place, but I feel like it is impossible! I have even been trying to get a job even though my pain is getting worse. But I have to protect her and myself. I am willing to do anything!!! I have signed up for every low income apartments I can find. There is hope with one, they have three coming available and even though I am number 26 on waitlist he thinks it is good that I will get one. I am going to call them tomorrow. I just don't know how I am going to afford everything being disabled and only getting about $700 a month
but I have to try. I don't know where to get help either. All I know is that for us to be healthy we have to have our own place.

I am so tired of having so many different health issues on top of CRPS. And the worst part about it is my family has completely pushed me out. My dad told me yesterday that it was my fault and that I isolated myself and turned everyone against me! I couldn't believe it. I told him that just because I have to stay in bed where my room is warm because my pain has been worse doesn't mean I am isolating myself. Its like if you have a day or so feeling better than you should be cured. He just won't get it that this disease is for life. And if he cared about me even a little he would go to an appointment. When my white blood cells were critically low he didn't care that they were having people who were sick stay at our house. And I couldn't get sick cuz that would have been horrible news for me. My doctors told me I could die. I just feel like my family doesn't care about me at all. I may be surrounded with lots of family but they are meaner than anyone else or anyone I know. CRPS is hard enough, it is extremely difficult when you have no one.

My depression has been faltering because I have no one. I want someone to care/worry about me just a little! I am so done with everything. I just can't take it. If it wasn't for my daughter and having to protect her I would give up. I hate not being able to have even a little control over my life. I don't like that I can't change it. I have always been a person that if you don't like something then change it and I can't! I have changed my outlook on life to accommodate this pain and it is frustrating that I can't take this head on.

Thanks for letting me get it out. Loves to you all!
Angel