Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopeless
I find myself a lot less tolerant and less patient due to pain. It is like I have become a different person that I do not even recognize. Things that normally would have annoyed me now make me so angry I could scream.
I no longer "bite my tongue" and I now "speak my mind" even when it may not be the proper thing to do. What happened to the person I used to be?
Did I get "lost" in pain? Anyone else see changes in your own personality as a result of your pain?
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That's the worst part of pain - that it changes who you are and it is a constant struggle to prevent that. One day, your pain may be managed, and you are confident and self-assured. Another (like today for me), you are suffering and it calls everything in question. I can make it through next week, but how do I continue working like this, suffering from neuropathy, for the next 15 years? How do I provide for my children and wife? The pain causes me to always be waiting for the other shoe to drop. I cannot relex and take a nice vacation. Instead, I should be saving the money for when I may not be able to work in the future. It is easy to think heroicly and say that you "won't let the pain stop you", but in the real world few of us have that intestinal fortitude. Most of us are mere mortals. The pain grinds on us and wears us down. Like I am prone to say, it does not give you the weekend off or take any vacations. It is unrelenting in its demand for attention. And when it gets to a certain level, you simply cannot block it out.
I wish you all well!