((((((BJ)))))),



You were very brave to finally talk about Mark's suicide. My brother, John, committed suicide when he was 21 and I was 22.

Born 11 months apart. We were like twins. We looked alike. We sounded the same. We could finish each other's sentences. Half of my soul.

We didn't talk about it in my family either. The only two people that knew about it (but, did not talk about it) were me and my Mother. Even my Father did not know, she told him it was a heart attack -- that's what she told everyone.

He was in the Navy at the time. I was the one that had to request the autopsy (came to me the week before Christmas). I also had to request a board of inquiry. I didn't realize until I finished my 13 years of therapy how cruel it had been for my Mom to put me in charge of everything.

I know what it's like to lose your baby brother

My Mother had told me that my Brother had attempted suicide a couple of times at home when he was still living there before joining the Navy. I never knew that until my Mom told me.

You know, BJ, now that you've finally said the words -- you'll start to heal.

There's a saying that I read in a book once -- can't remember the name of it -- "Tea and talk is Jewish therapy -- you talk over tea until what you talk about becomes just memories that you share with others." That's the gist of it, not an exact quote.

Suicide affects everyone that's been touched by it even in the slightest way -- family, friends, fellow students, co-workers, people that have gone to the same church or temple or synagogue.

There's was no note in my Brother's case either. I always 'knew' that something wasn't right. You come to a point, at least I did, where the answer comes to you in your heart. It'll be 41 years in October since by Brother committed suicide.

I wish I had him back in my life. I wonder how different my life would have been if he were still in it. But, I wouldn't want to lose the person that I've become because of his suicide.

We heal when we give up the pain. We NEVER have to give up the love or the memories.

BIG HUGS. I'm proud of you too, BJ.

Barb