Don't know how you do it! What a challenge!
The only thing I can think of is magnesium citrate if you don't already take
it. It helps calm nerves so along the same line is Epsom salt soaks.
My P.M. Dr. gave me Nucynta to take for the worst pain. I guess
it's still "opiate" in a lower & less addictive form than Oxys. I'm so afraid
to get addicted that I save it for the very worst.
As for the in-laws Maybe engaging their help and remembering to
express gratitude (even if they frustrate you) will make them feel needed
& less critical (if they are).