Oh lord, I'm sorry BP! I forgot! Well...you will heal, mostly. There's always that empty spot in your heart and soul. I still have moments when I think about my sister and of course it makes me sad. Watching her die slowly for a year took its toll on many lives. But after 21 years, the pain lessens a lot. I know she went off to accomplish other things that she needed to do.
You have nothing to be guilty about, and don't you forget it!!! Sometimes, you just don't see someone's suicide coming. Apparently they want to go, so they do.
Hugs.
And no Moonstar, you have absolutely nothing to apologize for!!!