As every day goes by I feel my grasp weakening a little bit more and more. No one but all of my friends here seem to understand, I thank you all for that. My family and work are really pushing me further down every day. Some of my close friends are starting to understand more and more everyday. Thank you artist for reposting the Spoon Theroy. It has helped a couple of my friends understand a little more. One of them actually broke down crying when I read it to her. I am so tired of having to ask my mom and everyone s=else for help. I used to be so independent and now I have to depend on so many people. I want my life back, I want all of you to have your lives back as well! I now have a surgery date for the scs trial. It is on June 15th. One thing I do have to look forward to is this relationship that seems to blossom and grow more and more everytime I hang out with her. She is really caring and loving. Afeew of my friends including her and I were planning to take a trip to the guadalupe river and I was going to try and tube with them.(that will take lots of extra spoons by the way.) Well last night they cancelled the trip because of my surgery date and are going to try and move it out a little more. But it is just amazing that she wants to go with me when I have the trial surgery. I didnt know that people like this existed anymore. But then I come home and just get blasted for trying to rest, they dont understand what I am going thru, come on Dana go do this and that, and then we will go do this and that. Yes it will be fun but I dont have the enerhy for everything, I am running out of spoons fast. Ialways manage to screew things up. I just dont want to do it aymore. I am tired of messing up everyones lives. I am just going to stop it all. I dont have anymorespoons to use right now. I am done stick a fork in me. I will just do everything myself, even f it put s me in the hospital. I am not asking for, or accepting anyones help anymore.

Thank yopu all for beign here with me and trying to support me! I hope you all have blessed and wonderful memorial day!