Dana,
It's really frustrating when you can't do the things that you used to be able to. It's tough not being independent anymore. But, it sounds like you have someone who really "cares". This person could be one of those people who really enjoys helping others. Maybe she doesn't feel like you are, as you say, screwing things up.
As far as the people that push you, sometimes you just need to shrug them off. Some people never seem to understand, but you do the best you can in educating them (sounds like you tried with the spoon story) then try your hardest not to let them bother you. Don't let them get to you.
Take care of yourself. Have a really nice, holiday & I hope you feel better.
Linmarie