Oh the pain, the pain... but then that is Doc's line.

How I pray the pain would be less, be managed better, be.....well, maybe GONE for all. I do not understand the recommendations of some care givers on "hey, we should try you on no meds" when pain is highest ever. I just do not understand.

Oh, how I got to the point of hating the meds, and the fog, and the....well, being stopped up, you all know what I mean. Gee, I still carry a bag of prunes around in my briefcase.

Then reading of reps who are not responsive, who think they might "try another program," of equipment failures....it just seems so all fired awful.

Yeah, I do still hurt, and it has to do with the lower lumbar and leg nerves [the ones I can still feel] which don't always respond well to the stim, or maybe I am not using enough signal..... yet I am SO glad to have withdrawn from the opiates and such. The process was unfun. The backlash was absolutely dreadfully near end of lifeish, and there I was at the time, seeing a psych for the "so, why do you think you felt hopelessness and helplessness" discussions.

These things all of us have struggled to handle are so VERY difficult. Those about which I just read make the eyes cry until they are sore, and we still strive. That spirit of We Still Strive is what keeps all of us putting one foot in front of the other, of seeing to it our spouse or significant other may enjoy a moment if not two, of wanting to have more than two nickels to rub together [or maybe pence depending on locale]. This stuff is not easy. It is exhausting.

So, I resort to praying, and some more praying. Helps me, and I believe helps others. It is my thing.

May each of you feel just a measurable bit better....I pray