Thank you all for your thoughts.
I wrote that last night when I was having trouble sleeping, it's been annoying me that much and getting it out is like a big deep breath. Start fresh today.
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Originally Posted by Lewie
I think part of it may be though that she is worried about you and can't do anything to help you. So not hearing about it makes her feel better cause maybe your doing better?
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Yes, I think this might be the case. I'm a survivor of childhood sexual abuse (a stepfather, my mother knew but convinced herself I was exadurating). Years ago my mother told me that every time she sees me the abuse is all we talk about. Actually, I'm pretty sure that she started that conversation most often, but the result was I stopped mentioning it completely. We never speak of it now. Now it feels like history repeating to be honest! Once again, something that is happening to me is not to be spoken of. *sigh*
Quote:
Originally Posted by hopeful
Aussie,
It's good you came and got your feelings out. Holding it in only makes our pain worse. I hope you feel better!
Hopeful
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Thank you Hopeful.
It certainly does feel much better now. Although, part of me is scared now that she will come here and read what I wrote and oust me from the family or something. It's funny how paranoia kicks in. In fact, I was so paranoid last night that I left a LOT out. I truly went to town on her, letting a lot of stuff out, then went back and deleted big chunks. Just getting it out was therapeutic enough, deleting it was almost like wiping away the hurt. So all's good.
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Originally Posted by Synnove
I have often gotten the comment: " but you have had so many tests" or --" you have had all the tests, you have seen all the doctors"
Or: " you look so good! " Well, that is good to get a compliment. ( but they do not know how I am in pain later on in the day!!!!!) I usually try to care for my self well, and care about my appearance.
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Ohhhh yes! This! I can so relate to this. I also care for appearance, so much so that outwardly I look great, healthy. It's an illusion, a mask I wear to hide my broken self. I look around sometimes, and wonder if other ladies my age and older who are immaculately groomed are hiding something. Funny enough, more often than not, if I give them the opportunity to speak of themselves, something comes out, some hidden health problem, or mental anguish. I guess what I've learned from this for myself is never to judge a book by it's cover. Yep, I know it's an old saying, but recently it's taken on a whole new meaning.
Thank you for your thoughts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zorro1
My GF has watched me go through this from day one and knows its real and is very supportive BUT her eyes completely glaze over if I even mention my pain just once so we never talk about it but I know first hand that its as boring as hell to healthy people.
I dont think your mom is a bad person, she just doesnt get it.
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Thank you so much for sharing this. My hubby is the same. I think at first he was fine with my whining and carrying on, but it's gotten old. He comes home from a mentally challenging day at work and the last thing he needs is a home that isn't a safe haven to relax and unwind. He doesn't need to hear my problems. That doesn't mean he's selfish, in fact he's the most supportive in all this. He takes a LOT from me. I don't show my appreciation often enough.
I will need to make a conscious effort to avoid talking about my pain unless it's imperative. I needed to hear what you wrote, thanks so much!