Quote:
Originally Posted by Diandra
Hi All,
I deal with guilt relating to my health issues and I wanted to know how you all deal with it.
I feel bad I cannot do many of the things I used to. As you all know, there is an endless minutiae of tasks that need to be accomplished daily, weekly to run a home and family and a life. I am woefully behind in all of them and feel terrible that I cannot keep up. I am also one of those people who, if I said I was going to do something, I do it....when I have to cancel, I feel especially bad.
My husband has to pick up ALOT of the slack and my elderly Mom does not get all the help and TLC she needs, despite me hiring a part-time companion. They never complain, they are very helpful and sympathetic...the guilt is all mine.
This week, my husband took 5 days off work for a little birthday vacation.
I did force myself to go out to dinner the night of his birthday, but, today, could not even manage going out to the movies. (This week has been a very bad flare for me.) All I ever do is apologize to him and everyone else and I try to make it up to them when feeling better.
Would love to hear how you all feel and deal with this issue.
Thanks so much, Diandra
P.S. I am asking the favor that, Please don't let this be a thread where 250 view it but only 3 respond. Anyone with Chronic pain will have an opinion or feeling about this and this forum works best for everyone when we are sharing , not just taking. Everyone's opinion is valuable, truly.
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Dear Diandra,This rocker Dan.I first off wish to thank you for the lovely welcome to the forum! I have studied medicine for over 42 years and am NOT a doctor but i do know a bit and what you asked is something i am really into!My former Wife and me were both pain Patients well before pain clinics.Susan was struck by a car on foot,and my story is half from youth as a stuntman and a severe beating by some sheriffs while handcuffed which left me crippled and walking with a cane.The part that you have to understand is that having Children as we both do,can lead down paths that are hard to "lay on a child!"They sometimes whatever reason can blame themselves and try and over compensate for our shortcomings be them ever so small.We can only do so much and trying to hide not lifting a bike or needing help with the groceries when other kids moms or Dads do not is something depending on age you have to explain and expand out words from there.Keeping in mind little ears can hear farther and better! Never ever be ashamed as to a disability or injury.And please keep in mind that the world is "there for you"if you let it be! For a example,just yesterday coming back from the Hospital and my doctors i was tiring to push a luggage cart filled with several bags of food.People(i live in a condo Resort)I let people help me open doors and holding the elevator and even asking if i wanted help putting my items away!I was good up untill them helping me put things away,so for around the 25th time i lifted a case of water above my head to put on top of the Fridge.Big 25th mistake! I knew i should have let the person do that for me,but my darn pride stopped me and i wound up in bed for an hour and had to take a bit more of my "breakthrough medication."So we all have to except or even ask for help when needed.you seem like a very nice person from what i have read and we will help others,so why do we not let others help us?PRIDE...........A foolish emotion.So if you or your husband need help,i truely belive there are people who will help you to your car at say Wal-Mart.But only once was i offered.But when i ask,people come running to help!And refraining from overdoing it will stop you from what i have known but"One Trip Dan"as my wife used to call me is only making the pain worse and later in life you need all the help you can get without more pain from early in life! i wish you and your Family all the best!Peace, RD