Surely I understand what you are saying and yes it is terribly frustrating.
We can't beat ourselves up. Try to be easier on yourself because you are already going thru too much. I do what I can on a given day and when the 'really' bad days roll around, then it's a 'heating pad' day for me.
Having a supportive and helpful spouse is a huge blessing.
Certain friends will just sorta 'fade away', at least that's been my experience.
It's hard for most people who don't comprehend chronic pain to understand what we really go through.
You can only do what you can do. To try to 'keep up' the house will wear you down and the stress of it will bring on more pain.
This forum is such an incredible place to be able to come to. We're all 'in this together'.
Some of the things that I've done to help cope simply require accepting that this is the way it is right now. I always hold on to the hope and prayer that it won't always be this way.
You will always have your 'true blue' peeps in your life. That's where the treasure is.
You've started a great thread and I'm sure you'll get good feedback.

As far as seeing that hundreds have read but not replied, a large number of those 'reads' are simply engine bots roaming the web. Not even human.
Other times people just simply don't know what to say, but that doesn't mean they are uncaring. Another thing I notice from time to time is that a forum just isn't very active for whatever reason, but it usually picks back up again.

I also like what Rocker Dan said about not being 'ashamed' of a disability or a weakness.

It's nice to have met you and I'll enjoy seeing you around NT! No other place I'd rather be.
Caring,
Rae