Hi All...as always, everyone's responses are so helpful.

...Dan, you are right on the money that pride gets in the way. Certainly pride is a huge issue for me and I need to work on that. I was also one trip person and tried to do it all, figured I was out and dressed and just pushed until I could not any longer.

...Rae, accepting how things are is also something I need to work on. I am usually good about that but after 20+ yrs, I notice each time I get knocked down, I am slower to get up. these past few weeks have been an especially bad flare and it has been hard to hold on to "this too shall pass" philosophy that I generally keeps me going. Thank you SO much for explaining the thread hits as being from roaming engine bots, I honestly had no idea.

Debi...yes, everything you said did make sense...I do hope you reach your goal of food shopping, cleaning and cooking dinner. I did hire someone to do the heavy cleaning twice a month and I do use a delivery service for food shopping..the cost to deliver is very low. It sounds like you have a very nice relationship with your Mom...you both seem to appreciate it each other. My Mom is 90 and has dementia. It is nice to have her here as I feel better keeping an eye on her but she never remembers I have health issues and needs a lot of help. Can your sweet Mom come to my house?!?!? The love between you two is really so dear. You are both blessed.

Doc....thanks for the Kubler Ross stages reminder. I feel like I keep cycling thru them. I generally am pretty accepting of my lot in life, like I said, after over 20 yrs, when I have a bad flare and pain is so much in the forefront, I uncharacteristically this week have had a loss of my strength to keep my chin up. You had suggested not apologizing...I don't know what else to do when my husband has taken over everything all week on top of his 60+ hr a week job at the age of 63. He truly is an angel and aside from doing for him when I can, apologizing is what I do, and of course I thank him. I simply have "fallen" this week...my normal strong resolve went flying around the room and petered out like a balloon that had just been blown up and let go....I am not a whiner and honestly am ****** at myself for letting go of my resolve but, hopefully this week when I get the facet joint shots for the first time I wil feel some relief from this flare.

Thanks y'all for your input....you are a great bunch here, truly you are and I am filled with gratitude for your kind and supportive feedback. XOXOXOXO Diandra