Quote:
Originally Posted by Llynnyia
I am sorry about your parents if my Dad was to die anytime soon, I don't think I would make it through okay. I am glad she is finding a mechanism to cope.
Your arms as well as your leg how do you adjust to that? Do you work? or can you I should say? I simply can't image the hardship. It must be so frustrating. (my primary emotion it seems now)
The grief for the former me happens a lot to me, I have changed so so much. And, some of the changes are so odd and hard to I understand. The Dancing , the horses, hiking, shopping ect I get. But I used to draw and paint, I was good to! I lost that, it holds no wonder or fun for me anymore. I lost that magic thing that created those wondrous pictures. Every time I open a sketch book nothing comes out well.
I lost every friend but one because I had changed so much and they didn't enjoy the new sedate me, we no longer had things in common."What good is an interest in hiking if you never show up to do it" quote from one of them when I asked "why I hadn't heard from her for so long and do you have any pictures from your last hike?" So now I have made new older friends , my unofficial fiancee Dave (waiting for ring still lol) is 16 years older then I am  sugar daddy.
I'm not a only child and its a little complicated so I will start easy . At thirteen I permanently move in with dad and step mom Dar (she is the one who died, who really mothered me.) in that house I was the youngest by nine years with two older delinquent siblings.
I am the only child between my bio mom and dad. Bio mom has three other children one boy older(lived with his father from 3 onwards) one girl younger and the youngest a boy. so in her house I was the oldest. I basically raised those two children while bio-mom ran around doing drugs. I would repeatedly give up and move in with dad then be guilt-ed by bio-mom and move back in with her to take care of the two young ones. It was a lot of back and forth. when the abuse went from neglect and mental to full out physical I knew I couldn't do it any more.
Luckily this TMI Openness and verbal sewage wasn't one of the changes!  |
Wow Llynnyia, I am sorry for the struggle you have gone thru. It is so hard for me to hear of broken families and how difficult it is for the children. I can see where you have been been subject to so much adversity in your life that the "fighter" is in you to help with rsd/crps/chronic pain. It saddens me to hear your story and makes me happy to see your inner strength. You will endure Llynnyia with your credentials.
I hope your pain level is tolerable and your doctors do well by you. Remember this Llynnyia; Regardless of the intensity of a bad weather day here on earth, if we climb high enough the sun is always shining! Hugs and love from one fighter to another.