sick and tired

so he sees me

now as he knows my
oncologist

he sees it
and blankin tells me
there is a name for
it you can look it up
and i can look it up
if i want
literally down loads me
pictures

diagnosis
double bubble

and he sees it two years later
granted he hugged me after leaving
but it was not my blankin imagination

double bubble
he says, now
its the same as it was two years
ago
but because another doctor
said something about it
and knows my oncologist
they play racket ball together
just blows my blankin mind
so
he spits out
an explanation sheet
and as he explained all that needs
to be done as he was the
last one to close me up
after all of my surgeries
never again
so now what
i would have liked to have been
acknowledge then not now
because if i let him put me out
i would have them taken out
i control my body
how dare he when i first brought
it to his attention two years ago
calls his partner in
and at the OPEN
doorway says
"look at how great they are"
mortified

anyhoo
told him to say hello
to his wife
as she was the one to initially
take my first call
i did not know this
and told her how what i did
was a hiccup in the road

now tomorrow
dermatologist

Friday pain specialist

so what to do
what to do
i'm not waiting
i need to rule out
my new diagnosis

oh people

it's all about winning
their ego
their sight lost
me
the
patient