Hey Vrae

How lovely to have a doc who is fighting for you and listening, and who wants you cared for as best they can... Sadly rare for too many folk! I'm glad he spoke to your doc - IMNVHO with something as complex as this, our docs should be on the phone to each other before any new treatment is auctioned. Least they can do lol.

I echo much of what Nanc said, apart from the technicalities of actually having been through it....because I haven't. Thank goodness. But you're both brave gals having the things done at all, and equally I think no less of anyone who finds them terrifying. I've read about the procedure and I think it's fairly freaky stuff, especially the first time.

I suspect that no matter what you do, that first SGB is going to be scary, but they'll get easier each time simply because you'll know what to expect....you'll have been there and got the t-shirt personally monogrammed in gold, and embroidered with detachable chocolate.

I know it's freaky and weird, but I would say to read about it and visualise it for yourslef, and once you're used to that, maybe even try to watch a YouTube vid of it. It'll probably make you cry the first time, and generally have a little melt. It has that effect on me! But if you can get to a point where you know roughly what happens and can imagine the steps, you will be more prepared for it when it's happening to you, and you can practice thinking it through, eyes closed, and breathing as normally as you can. I think it's the most effective kind of preparation, simply because watching it scares you and makes your heart rate go up, etc. The adrenaline starts to pump, and you feel that urge to run screaming from the room!!

If you were going to be out of it, zonked happily and snoring quietly during the whole thing, I'd never recommend watching. But if you're going to be awake and frightened, then exposing yourself to that fear gradually at home is a little easier on your system than just going in cold.

Now the above is just me, and you must as always do what you think is best for you. So if you think this is the most stupid idea ever then feel free to throw your hands in the air, utter a few choice swear words and comments about my idiocy and ignore it. Lol.

Take care and I wish you all the luck possible with it Vrae. If its useful, I'll send you another ATTA GIRL!!!!

Bram x