I think the monster that you know is never as frightening as the monster that you fear - especially in the night when everyone else is sound asleep and all you have are your thoughts. And if it is something other than MS this message is still the same.

I know that when I started going through all of this journey (in 2001) Motor Neurone Disorder was very topical, and I was so terrified, that a Dx of MS was almost a relief, although back then all I could find were very negative and very pessimistic accounts of the disease and its prognosis.

Once I got a Dx, I knew that although it may be debilitating, and perhaps sometimes painful, it likely wouldn't kill me. It may slow me down (which it has - but thankfully not too much yet - I still walk, and I can even dance), it may make me rethink my life and my priorities (which I have - and that is a good thing) it may make me re-think my life (but who doesn't as they approach middle age - I was Dx'd at 32 and I am 44 now). As a Mum, I had to become more creative in the way I spent 'quality time' with my kids (and now they are both incredible adults one at University, and one in Yr 12 and off to University next year).

Life is full of challenges, and this one is a doozey - but you live, learn, compensate and grow.

Hugs