Father
Brother
Mother Mary

Thank you for another day

I have over done it
Things need to get done
All members have their own
things to do
Will not lie
I feel more lonely as
each day goes by
Father help me find me
Where have I gone
Where am I going
Who would want to be with me
I can't entertain a simple walk
Life as it was with a job to go too
So many unwelcomed pain
How to heal a broken heart
This heart that has yet to be loved
Father I know you listen
I am your servant
In you I trust and love for I
know you breath the life into us all
I understand I am only in control of me
I type with so much pain
If it keeps go on like it is I don't know
what else to do
My doctors continue to fail me
I am tall walk tall find I cannot arch
my back at all
my body is slumping forward
My reconstructive doctor seen me
after two years
Nothing changed it is the same as it was two years
ago
why deny me the truth
my neurosurgeon would not look me
into my eyes
because the last time he did
he could not deny it
My pupils were visible to him
and brushed me off
to be told by the last two
orthosurgeons say no surgery
to many things going on
Father have I not made you proud
do I try and live as a decent human
to another
respect the word
teach my children as a responsible
parent
I have sinned as I have no respect
for the woman who birthed me
This I know does not please you
I will be kind and honest if she should call
You answer me as I can see the signs
I believe in your awesome power
and your love
Am I only to experience the love of
my children
On this place we call earth
So many to see in our daily lives
Was my illness to help others
or to bring me closer to you
You have my heart as it was given
to me by you
my unconditional love
to maybe one share with
another
am I the serpent worker
Never will evil take my life
mind soul
Angels are my protectors
as a mother failed her daughter
time and time again
my remorse runs so deep
to have no comprehension
as a mother myself who made the
decision never to marry again
for if my father can say and do what's
absoluty forbidden
How is it he commits suicide on top of his
sick ways I can forgive yet she lives kicks
her kids to the curb I long gone and take on a man
I believe she was working on her now ex-husband
she lives with and his four children who is
not my father
I was 17 when I left what was suppose to be a safe
ENVIRONMENT
for a man who watched my father beat me
and for that man George tell him "if I ever catch you
touching her I will kill you" I was eight ����
Father I understand so much more as you have
been my teacher
I will keep looking for your signs
as I have connected to the
Great I Am
I will continue to be true to you
my children
the ones I connected to as you make
this all possible
There are no accidents in life
I am connected to all not by chance
This I know without doubt
So I will do my best to honor
the Ten Commandments
and practice a better way of
dealing with my pain spiritual
physically and try to stay out of my OWN WAY
As thy will be do
on earth as it is in heaven
Amen
Love to all