Interesting question, only I didn't injure myself. Nature or Life handed me my spinal problems. I thought a tumble down the stairs was the onset but my doctor said it would have happened, eventually, no matter what. But, man-o-man, how I so much wanted to fault the company that procrastinated in repairing my heater - the Winter I went without heat due to flubs on that new motor being installed. I thought, "If only..." this and that. It wasn't anyone's fault, however. Nature was waiting in the wings ready to strike when it felt ready, and, it sure hurt a lot!

If I could take back one moment in time: It would be the night I went upstairs to get my toothpaste and toothbrush, knowing full-well that my limbs were numb.

I choke on my own breathing at times, and, y'know, still there is the hope against hope it's just not spinal, but my doc told me today: It's my neck. I wanna cry, but... I don't really think I have time (or, I don't want to make time; I don't like thinking or focusing on internal "stuff.").

I do think back, and my mind floods itself with wishful thoughts. The reality is, however, this is my reality whether I like it or not.

I try to bury my thoughts on things I can do rather than the things I can no longer engage in. I'm okay with that. I'm not totally "at peace" with everything, but... given more time, more adjustment will take place.

It's a hard, long, tear-filled road - from there to now, I assure.

P.S.: I truly loved the place my Life was prior to my spinal injury; I felt at home. I'm sorta reaching that place once again. If I may offer? Never give up and find enjoyment in the new horizons you can reach. We don't have to change on the inside... nothing has to alter that. It's just re-discovery, maybe .