I'm going to say sorry before I start for the whining that is coming
I'm in so much pain today. I had IVIG yesterday. I usually feel like a war is going on in my body for the first day or two after but this is really bad.

I think it probably has to do with already being in so much pain from coming off the cymbalta. I woke in such horrible pain. After the little sleep I did manage to get. I'm a mess and have been for a while now.

I am trying so hard to keep my head above water. I am so sad today. I keep getting on the brink of tears and pushing them back down. I quess this could also be the serotonin level with the cymbalta.

I am finding myself yearning for my life before this disease stormed into my life. I feel like this has stolen the real me. I want to crawl into bed and never ever come out. Not to worry, my family will never let me get away with it and I wouldn't do it because I don't want to hurt and worry them. I can't cry in front of them. Only to myself or my husband.

Oops here come the tears. Surprise, seems I can cry to u too! I tried everything this morning. Reminded myself what I was grateful for. Looked at a pic of my two wonderful, funny granddaughters. It worked for a while.

I prayed for strength and hope. That also worked for a while.

Now it is starting again. The only thing I could think to do is reach out to people who understand.

I talk about my blessings, faith and hope. This morning I feel terrible because I find myself asking God how much longer am I suppose to endure this? I don't think I'm strong enough for it. I know there is a reason, that we may not know, why everything happens. I just want this to be over.

I just said last night to someone else to remember what they are grateful for. I said I believe in miracles. I still have those beliefs so why am I feeling so down.

I am praying this is from coming off the cymbalta. I can't bear this much longer.

Well, I warned you I was going to vent. Thanks for listening. I have to go blow my nose haha!!!

I'm just so sick and tired of being sick and tired!!
Hopeful