Hopeful, I want to hug you and cry with you.
I have no words, only great empathy, as I too, feel a lot of what you are feeling right now. Hopeless. It is so hard to climb out of the pit of hell when nothing seems to point to every feeling better. I have decided to take life one hour at a time. I have basically been on a couch for almost 2 weeks now, it is hard to see past this moment.
I have nothing to offer to make you better but I am praying for you dear friend to get some relief.